Becoming Strangers
by Louise Dean
Nominations: Booker Longlist 2004, Dublin Longlist 2006
Date Read: May 7, 2023
I had picked up Becoming Strangers with the assumption this would be a fun frolic but found depth and heart in addition to a frolic. Some of Dean’s observations about love, marriage, religion and desire are spot on. An engaging read for sure.
The De Groot’s have been gifted a holiday in the Caribbean by their kids, since Jan is in the final stages of cancer. His wife Annemicke understands this is their last holiday together but this does nothing to bring her closer to her husband. Their marriage has been a mess for as long as they can remember. Yet, Jan still holds out hope that this trip can bring the two of them closer.
They are fortunate to meet another couple, Henry and Dorothy, with whom they get on quite well. The two men form an especially close bond, although Henry is quite a bit older. They are able to enjoy libations and good discussion throughout their trip. They both share the common ground of marriages that have been less than satisfying. Both have chosen to stay for many similar reasons – the kids, the unknown, inertia.
Dorothy, however, is suffering from Alzheimer’s and winds up missing one afternoon and isn’t recovered until the following morning. This sends the resort into the first of a series of uproars. In moments of clarity she realizes she is declining and rather than being terrified, she rather enjoys the darkness that envelops her mind.
Almost from the get-go Annemicke is MIA, determined to take care of herself for a change. After a moment of eye contact and brief flirting with a fellow guest named Bill, she infiltrates his dressing room at the spa and demands he fuck her. He obliges. But in due course, Bill becomes friendly with Jan and Henry but he never discloses his dalliance with his wife.
The breaking point for Jan occurs after he returns to the resort from visiting a church with Henry, Bill and another guest named Laurie when he is accosted by the hotel manager and informed his wife has been raped. Annemicke has in fact bribed a day laborer to have sex with her. When she failed to turn up for an excursion and doesn’t answer her phone, the manager infiltrates her room to find them in bed together. Rather than fess up, Annemicke accuses the laborer of rape. Charming woman, ne?
Her story is discredited by Bill when he tells the manager that she is probably lying since she had seduced him. Jan, although he mostly does and says the right things a husband should, knows deep down the story is false. When they finally return home to Belgium, they know they can no longer be together.
The one thing that remains is the friendship between Henry and Jan who meet up in Paris for a boy’s weekend. I loved this last part as a lovely souvenir of an incredibly awful vacation.
All marriages have their ups and downs. As these married couples can attest, too many remain in loveless marriages, stuck by a myriad of reasons. Over time, rather than growing together, couples can become strangers, almost like waking up to a stranger in your bed. A familiar stranger, but a stranger nonetheless.
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