Billie Morgan
by Joolz Denby
Nomination: Women's Prize Finalist 2005
Date Read: July 23, 2022
An interesting take on those beckoned to the darker sides of society. While not all bad or evil, some of the repercussions can be unforeseen and incredibly complicated. Billie was always drawn to “alternative” groups or lifestyles. I get that, having the same proclivities as well. She never could have foreseen the dangers that lurked around the corner, even with a husband by her side and good-will in her heart.
Billie was always the embarrassment of her family – middle class, more concerned what the neighbors thought than their own kin, raised with an education and without poverty. Her mother and sister could never understand why Billie always insisted on bringing shame unto the family. Especially when they were already ashamed that their father had up and left.
But Billie marches to her own drummer and the only hitch with her march is her needing drugs from time to time to calm her down or lift her up. The one night she really needed chemical assistance to calm herself resulted in the worst that any human being could do – taking a life. Terry’s life wasn’t worth all that much, but that’s never for one person to decide. The consequences she suffers for his death are profound and never-ending.
Billie ends up losing her husband, Micky, who could never reconcile himself to the fact that his wife took charge when Micky’s own life was under threat. Or that Billie took charge in disposing of the body, coming up with a plan before Micky had even wrapped his head around reality. Honestly, they should have called the police and blamed his head injury on the seizure he suffered, which would have saved all of them a tremendous amount of grief.
As much as Billie tries to help the family she stranded by killing Terry, Jas is a slave to her own addictions and her son, Billie’s godson, isn’t falling far from the tree. A new look at the case, through a magazine expose, reignites the belief that Terry is imminently coming home. As you read the harrowing details of their lives, you can’t help but wonder if the family wouldn’t have been better if Terry had lived. Then again, most likely not.
I admire Billie for many things – being herself regardless of the negativity reflected back at her from her family, for grabbing the things she wants most from life and, perhaps most of all, for recognizing that although Natty sexually assaulted her, she considers Natty more of a victim in this situation than herself.
Throughout, you can tell that Billie is a good human at her core and I throughout the entire book, I longed for some resolution to her quandary and was rewarded. If anyone deserved a respite and a happy ending, it’s Billie Morgan.
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