All My Puny Sorrows

ALL MY PUNY SORROWS

by Miriam Toews

 

Nominations: Carnegie Longlist 2015, Dublin Longlist 2016, Rathbones Folio Finalist 2015

 

Date Read: January 15, 2021

 

Sisters Elf and Yoli are sisters who were raised in a Mennonite household. On the surface, their lives could not be more disparate. Elf has an enviable life on the surface – beauty, a marriage in which her husband adores her. She is wildly talented and in every surface appearance, she is a success. Yoli, on the other hand, is deeply in debt. She is the mother of two teenagers, born of two different fathers, who challenge her in every way. For all that should separate them and drive them apart, they are fiercely close.

 

The biggest challenge to their relationship is that Elf has been, continues to be, and will always be alienated from life. Not just alienated, but seems to know in her marrow that this life is not for her. She wants, more than anything, to end her life. 

 

Elf’s mother and sister have been through these paces before. Elf has tried to end her life on numerous occasions. But this time, on the cusp of a world tour as a sought-after pianist, something feels different. Yoli can feel it. She can feel it so much that she entertains Elf’s seriousness about committing suicide. Can one person’s love actually rescue a person and give them the will to continue?

 

The concepts of death, responsibility, un-nameable suffering and love are explored here through humor, sadness and a family’s struggle to understand. The only problem is that only Elf can truly know the extent of her misery or name the remedy she innately knows she needs. It is a testament to Yoli’s love that she tries to figure out how to help Elf accomplish her goal. 

 

Having struggled with depression my entire life, I identified with Elf in such a profound way. She tries her best to be honest and to shield those she loves from what she knows is her best outcome, yet she fails as all of us eventually do.

 

Toews weaves a beautiful narrative that is not overtaken by the heaviness of its subject matter. She offers bits of humor and character traits that so many of us can identify with. Ultimately, I found this a beautiful love story about sisters and the lengths they will go to help each other in crisis.

 

Looking Forward: The Flying Troutmans

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